Get all 19 crimesididntcommit releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of SILK., Can't Quit You, Defensive Wounds, Pink and Blue, SKILL ISSUE., Sentimental., Recovering, Limerence, and 11 more.
1. |
Constant
04:41
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stay the night and i'll still feel alone
the emptiness in this chest is my home
plant your toxic roots you have grown
leave them in this chest all alone, all alone
so settle in, i can't remember why we even bother to begin
you know you're never so fucking innocent
i can't unwind, always living on someone else's time
this body's not mine, this face was never mine
oh, i know, it's just what you shove down my throat
oh, i know, it's the alcohol and depakote
now everyone is gone but me
i guess i should go back to sleep
now everyone is gone but me
i guess i should go back to sleep
stay the night and i'll still feel alone
the emptiness in this chest is my home
plant your toxic roots you have grown
leave them in my chest all alone, all alone
with the right the words and the right sound
i can almost forget that nobody’s around
and we are lost in our constant sleep
and i am lost in your synthetic deep
force your pills down my throat and hope that i choke
force your pills down my throat and hope that i choke, i hope that i choke on all you gave me
so settle in, i can’t remember why we even begin
you know you’re never so fucking innocent
there’s something wrong inside my head;
there’s some great sickness in my chest
that pushes everyone away, i guess that it’s what i do best
stay the night and i’ll still feel alone
the emptiness in this chest is my home
plant your toxic roots you have grown
in this chest that you left all alone, all alone
all alone, all alone
you left
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2. |
Recovering
04:06
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on blank nights, in cold breeze
that shakes the limbs
on dying trees
all i find
are more of these
empty beds, dirty sheets
all i've found is all i've known
nothing ever fills these holes
hands are grabbing at my soul
but they're never mine to hold
in a world full of these
cheapened, toxic releases
find them all in me
misery loves repeating
all i've found is all i've known
i can feel it in my bones
i can't ever figure out
just what i'm crying about
through the years, we numb our fears
take the ride attached
see this life emptying fast
we're made of glass
all i've found is all i've known
emptiness is in control
take these pills and speak these words
try to cover all your hurt
recovering, won't excuse anything
if it's just how you let yourself sleep
no apologies, no forgiveness to feel free
own every fucking thing you've done
can't pretend that it didn't mean a thing
it didn't mean a thing
oh, it's funny how you know you were wrong
but you close your eyes and just carry on
finger on the trigger, i'm swept up by the flood
i can't drain these memories away with my blood
i'm over it, i'm out of it
i'm over it, i'm out of it
i'm over it, i'm out of it
but unlike you, i can't forget
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3. |
Sentimental
03:38
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before we atrophy, won't you just talk to me?
i know we did some things that need apologizing
you don't need to say you're sorry, don't need you to say you're sorry
just acknowledge me
cold tiles under bare feet
empty winter, hollow streets
i can rarely sleep, and if i do
all i see is you in every dream
you couldn't be
less ugly
in these subconscious memories
i always feel it haunting me, in my veins
every drop that i ever took down my throat
was never enough to make myself choke
out from this hollow love
i'm floating high above
i know i'm here, but what's the point of it if you're not near?
giving up on all of these
suicidal dreams
all these hopeless little moments that are never what they seem
it's never what it seems, never what it seems
it never goes the way you wanted it to
needed it, too
it never goes the way you needed it to
wanted it, too
you wanted it, too
needed it, too
all these little moments that we never saw through
we never see through
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4. |
Hard Dreaming
02:39
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we can't deny all the time we stood living a lie
a second unwinds a second time
another dream on a hopeless night
don't want to recall anything at all
nights dreaming of you, nights dreaming of you in a hospital
in the ashes of burnt bridges
i find all that we try to hide
in the ashes of burnt bridges
i find all that's been left behind
i won't recall anything at all
nights dreaming of you, nights dreaming of you in a hospital
nights dreaming of you in the hospital
in the walls that i cannot leave, they check on me in my sleep
as time divides, so do i
so do i, i'm lost in time
in the ashes of burnt bridges i find all that's been left behind
in the ashes of burnt bridges i find all that's been lost to time
i can't recall anything at all
i can't recall anything at all
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5. |
Relax
03:14
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i don't know why, i always find i'm missing you, missing you
my heart capsized, and i don't know why i'm missing you
still missing you
nowhere is where i want to be, where i wanna go
nothing is all i want to feel, all i wanna know
i don't know why i always try
harder than ever before
when all i find are empty times of waking up on strangers' floors
i cannot die, i cannot find a way to you
no way to you
i cannot find deep in my eyes any light
after all i've been through
nowhere is where i want to be, where i wanna go
no one is ever who they seem, never who i know
i always try, i always find anxiety
i can't escape
dysphoria deep in my mind
there's nowhere left for me to hide, to hide
no one's coming
no one's comin' back
so sugar, just relax
no one's coming
no one's comin' back
so sugar, just relax...
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6. |
What's a Girl To Do?
03:42
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spilling light from my eyes
flashlights in my mind
searching for you
memories make them shine
though never quite as bright
as when you were in my life
but this dim light will do fine
i guess this'll have to do this time
there's so many people, so many people but
none of them are you
what's a girl to do?
spilling light from my eyes
there's strobelights in my mind
memories of you always make them shine
though never as bright
as they did with you at my side
this will have to do this time
i guess i'll call this fine
'cause there's nothing at all
that i want anymore
i've felt everything, and now it's all a bore
the same things, rearranging
inside it's all the same in time
there's nothing left to find, nothing left to find
spilling light from my eyes
warm lights in my mind
familiar thoughts of you always make them shine
but never as bright, no never quite as bright
and i'm running out of whys
that you never said goodbye
i never said goodbye to you
goodbye to you, my love
i'll never say goodbye to you
goodbye
what's a girl to do?
what's a girl to do?
what's a girl to do?
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7. |
Maybe Someday
04:26
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oh, it's better, so much better off this way
oh, it's better, so much better off this way
that you were not the one to stay
that you were not the one to stay
i've been falling apart beneath all that
i know, it's fine
i've been falling apart and rebuilding my
hope i'm fine
i've been doing everything i'm supposed to
i've been doing all that i can without you
recovery came as a surprise, came as a surprise, i
i didn't think i'd ever get to this place
why's it so -- why's it all so, so hollow?
why's it so -- why's it still so, so hollow, hollow?
i'm doing, i'm doing everything i'm supposed to
i'm doing, i've been doing all i can here without you
you...
all good things go away
'cause this is where you'll stay
this is where you'll stay now
so why's it --
so why's it still so hollow?
so why's it --
that everybody i know always goes away?
oh, why's it--
oh, why's it still so hollow?
oh, why's it --
why's it still so hollow?
no, no, no, never again, i won't give in to the hope in my head
no, no, no, never again, i won't give in to the hope that things won't end
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8. |
Give Right In
02:34
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if not yours, what am i?
thawing ice melts inside, inside
i wanna be soft instead of this bitter thing that i'm becoming
i wanna be vulnerable with you, only with you
i am not worth loving
i am not enough
this is the truth that i have always run from
i will not get married
no, i won't be your wife
i am trapped in this dysphoric hell for the rest of my life
i open the door to let you in
and i tell myself life will now begin
but we both know that i won't win
oh, we both know that i won't win
i've opened the door, and i give right in
and i give you all that you find within
i open the door, and i let you in
and you take everything and you leave me with
empty rooms, old perfume
cheap rings that promised me everything
never win
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9. |
Out From Under It
04:10
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suicide just isn't gonna do
doctor says there's no escape for you
decorative just isn't gonna do
in this life we all must have our use
are we/am i useless?
all of the light that starts to ignite
sparkles and shines behind sad eyes
when i'm frantic inside, and my heart is too tight
and i need to escape, i know i'll find
suicide just isn't gonna do
doctor said there's no escape for you, it's true
suicide just isn't gonna do
i'd kill myself just to get away from you, from you
all of the days i rinsed away in an alcoholic haze are out of frame
i'm thinking of all of the ways those early days erased the pain
empty promises that the high could return, but we know it's not coming back
and now i'm alone, and i have learned
i'm still here with everything i lack
when the poison felt just like the cure
it's so goddamned hard to know for sure
when it's time to get up off the floor
i hope that i never return
out from under it, i'm out from under the only thing that ever worked
out from under it, i'm out from under the only thing that numbed the hurt
a reliable way to erase the pain, but i find in time i am afraid
temporary treatment always fades
there is no way to self-medicate
suicide just isn't gonna do
doctor says there's no escape from you
suicide just isn't gonna do
i slit my wrists, but i'm still here with you
so let's get on with it
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10. |
Hollow Land
04:24
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our dead can dance on the mess we've made
i lie awake with what remains
our dead can dance on the mess we've made
my blood erupts from my aching veins
cascading, rain down on my face
fuck away another toxic place
i'd do anything to feel like anyone else
set sick skin aflame and hope to lose myself
and though i've tried, i've come to find
i can't sleep beside anyone but you
in this tired room, with your cheap perfume
i get high on you and i start to lose myself
i start to lose
fill me up with electric hate
i'll dream of you in this waiting grave
our dead can dance on this mess we've made
i lie awake and hope it takes my life tonight
well, it just might, i've always wanted to die
never really known why
anyone would want to live in this hollow land of endless shit
don't bury me here, please take me away
you know this body of mine is just a walking grave
there's ghosts in my soul, and i give up control
'cause they haunt me everywhere i go
i've felt all i can and it turns to ache
when the heart is full, that's when it will break
i feel the constant strain, i see the waiting grave
i quit drinking and i see the mess i've made
i quit drinking but i still can't seem to escape
these thoughts that make me wanna fade away
our dead can dance on the mess we've made
i lie awake and hope it takes my life tonight
well, it just might
i've always wanted to die, never really known why
anyone would want to live in this hollow land of endless shit
why would anyone want to live in this hollow land of endless shit?
i've proven without a doubt, that with a drink or without
i'm still gonna fuck everything up
i've proven without a doubt, that if i'm drunk or without
i'm always gonna let out this hopeless shout
hollow land, hollow land
hollow land, hollow land
hollow land, hollow land
hollow land, hollow land
is this where you want me to be?
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11. |
False Awakenings
04:12
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when i see you in my sleep i never know it isn't real
false awakenings, terrified of sleep
things lost inside of me
i've hurt myself to be just like everyone else
i've scarred myself to feel just like everyone else, everyone
false awakenings, terrified of sleep
can i show you what's inside of me?
punch a telephone pole until my knuckles bleed, knuckles bleed
i can't think of a better way to show what's been killing me
all of these wounds, all of these wounds that never heal --
can i tell you how i really feel?
false awakenings, lost in all my dreams
terrified of sleep, of what's been done to me
i don't care if i'm hurt again if it numbs me out until the end
end
i can't hate anyone as much as i hate myself
i can't hate anyone as much as i hate myself
human effigy, come and watch me bleed
come and watch me sleep as i thrash around
terrified of sleep, lost in all my dreams
false awakenings, i don't make a sound
every nightmare is full of images of you
every deep sleep is full of memories of what we never do
it'll never do, we never do
when did i lose my dreams of you?
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12. |
Give a Little
03:34
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in the purgatory of me,
i never want to sleep
repeating these restless dreams
clinging to dead memories and,
oh, i know, i know--
these ghosts call me home, call me home
every piece of rust in me is something that you mustn't see
ghosts are coursing through my veins
i know that this life leaves stains
every little piece of me that i give away is secretly
everything i wish i could keep
won't you kill me in my sleep?
oh, i know, i know--
there's ghosts in my soul, in my soul
oh, i know, i know--
my heart will explode, will explode
i know the stars will never shine
quite as bright as they did in my
glittering, love-splintered sky
and oh, i know, i know
there's still love in my soul, in my soul
give a little, give a little, give a little, hope it stays
give a little, give a little, and it all goes away
give a little, give a little, give a little hope
it stays
give a little, give a little and it all goes away...
... all goes away
give a little, give a little, give a little, hope it stays
give a little, give a little, and it all goes away
give a little, give a little, give a little, hope it stays
give a little, give a little, and it all goes away...
it all goes away.
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13. |
On End
04:30
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all we hoped to hold is gone
and all we want is wrong
i hear the voices in the walls, the memories recalled, saying
"don't, don't..."
you've swallowed all my stars, all my sea
you've swallowed all my everything, all i'll ever be
i'm rinsed away, so clean
flashlights in your eyes
close your faith and pretend
i want to sleep these days away
i know that it goes on on end, on on end, on on end
in desert shapes we turn to dust
you haunt my every breath
and as our playgrounds start to rust
i know i'll carry this till death
you've swallowed my stars
you've swallowed my sea
you've swallowed my everything
i rinse away, not free
you've swallowed my stars
you've swallowed my sea
you've swallowed my everything, i'm rinsed away, not free.
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crimesididntcommit Florida
crimesididntcommit is the transgender electroheartache project of veronica emilyn, fusing darkwave, industrial and goth stylings into genre-defying explorations of mental illness, queer identity and the horrific beauty of being in a body that knows it is alive. crimesididntcommit is for the lost who don’t want to be found. songs ghosts can dance to. ... more
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