Get all 19 crimesididntcommit releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of SILK., Can't Quit You, Defensive Wounds, Pink and Blue, SKILL ISSUE., Sentimental., Recovering, Limerence, and 11 more.
1. |
a room without a view
04:06
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if not yours, what am i? what am i?
thawing ice melts inside, inside
there is a fire i cannot hide, and when you tell me i will open wide
i'm not sure who i am without you what am i, what am i if not yours?
if not yours, what am i? what am i?
i'm not sure where i go from here--
-- maybe i'll go to a hospital, maybe i'll be found dead
your absence is what i carry so why don't we wed? why don't we wed?
you said we'd marry within two years and
now it's all just as i've feared
abandonment, familiar tears, they don't make a difference since you're not here
if not yours, baby, what am i? what am i if not yours?
if not yours what am i, what am i, what am i?
my mother misgendered me, it didn't mean anything, but
god, it still stings
dear dysphoria, hear my pleas, let go of me
please release
if not yours what am i, what am i? what am i if not yours?
if not yours what am i, what am i?
maybe i'll go to a hospital, maybe i'll be found dead
i'll wear this ring that you gave to me and wish we were wed
or wish i was dead
in this room i don't get any sleep
just strangers checking on me to see if i breathe
if not yours, baby, what am i? what am i? what am i if not yours?
what am i?
i am not enough
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2. |
last to leave
02:13
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i can't stop this thing from falling apart
another drink, another hopeless start
i'm getting sick from all the cocaine we bought
i can't give this another thought
i get lost sometimes and i don't mind
i get lost sometimes and i don't mind
another night spent in the dark; try as you can but it'll leave a mark
it's getting faster, i don't want it to slow
i want to crash on the side of the road
we get lost sometimes and we don't mind
we get lost sometimes and we don't mind
no, i don't know about you for sure
but i just cannot take this shit anymore
my misery is a repetitive bore
please don't pay attention just try and ignore
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3. |
stay with me
03:17
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swallowed in your deep
i can't find anything but you
following dead leaves
i'll always see you in my
sleep won't come don't leave me now
if it's in you, i don't care if i drown
i'm waiting to pass out again so i can see you in my head
so stay with me, stay with me, tonight
tonight
eclipsed by your kiss, i'll never let go of this
i feel my emptiness subside from your bliss
just stay with me
stay with me
stay with me
tonight
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4. |
heaven
03:57
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in midnight empty towns in bloodstained wedding gowns
i know it's you i've found leaking from my mouth
i know i said i'm tired but i am not finished
if heaven doesn't have you, i don't wanna be in it
i'll hope that your sins cling to my skin
if love isn't everything, not having it is
i will wait for you if it's all i do
i will wait for you if you want me to
just want me, too
if heaven doesn't have you, i don't wanna be in it
if god could call this hell then he can keep his distance
i don't want his pearly gates or his mindless assistants
with your hands on my face i know you're my religion
i am aching for your taste to fulfill all my wishes
i will never hesitate to find you in my vision
i want to hold you close and never let go
when we are intertwined it's when we both know: we will make it through
we will make it through
and i'll stay with you if you want me to, just want me, too
another late night is all i hope to be given
if heaven doesn't have you, i don't want to be in it
hell here with you is better than anything else
i don't care if it hurts myself
i will stay with you if you want me to
i will stay with you if it's all i do, just want me, too
drive into this night, no more sunlight
the darkness in your eyes shines bright enough for me
enough for me
your dark is enough
your dark is enough
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5. |
purgatory
04:10
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could you come back to me?
could i even let you see?
these aches keep burning
with you i felt so free
come now, come back to me
please give me everything
i never get to break free
from this purgatory of me
me
oh, oh...
could you come back to me?
is it ever gonna be what i need?
are you ever gonna be who's next to me?
is it ever gonna be what i need?
are you ever gonna be next to me again?
next to me again
or is this the end?
another cold indifference
another night alone in the dark
it's where i hide
i'll sit beside that dumpster i kissed you in front of that night
in that dress that stole my heart
everyone waits for a start, for a spark in their heart to ignite
to turn to light
could you come back to me?
could you come back to me?
won't you come back to me?
just hold me in my sleep, in my sleep
you're gone and there's no one to run to
you're gone and there's no one to talk to
you're gone and there's no one to run to
you're gone and there's nothing that i can do
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6. |
storming
03:53
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i said i would wait, and that's all i've been doing
for once i didn't want to remain in the ruins
but here i am again, this hole is my best friend
in the tired end
we drove home in the storm and in my bed i found your warmth
something to love, something to want, something to hold onto
and you stayed with me
you said you would
you said you wouldn't ever do this
now i'm on my own again
swallow some pills and lie to my friends
nothing's worth less than what's in my chest
you know it the best
drops in an ocean of blood and ink, you pulled me up when i started to sink
you dragged me to shore and let me breathe
and i long for you now that i'm back beneath
these waves of myself, i'm bad for my health
it's in your arms where i fell for you
just stay with me, stay with me, next time don't leave
next time don't leave, next time
i hope this storm will end and when it does i will see you again
i hope this storm will end and if it does will i see you again?
in a hospital bed i dreamt of you there was nothing else to do
in a hospital room without a view you know i was dreaming of you, my baby
my baby, please come back to me
is there any way that you wouldn't leave?
could you stay with me, or just lie?
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7. |
silent treatment
03:01
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it doesn't get better, we know it gets worse
it doesn't get better, we know it gets worse
it doesn't get better, just load me in a hearse
it doesn't get better, we know it gets worse
it gets worse
my fears have made themselves come true
i know it's all because of you
my fears have made themselves come true
and they have latched into you
just pull me right down, you don't make a sound but
in this i'll drown, in it i'll drown
just pull me right down, you don't make a sound but
i'll drown, i'll drown
just pull me right down, you don't make a sound but
in you i'll drown, in you i'll drown
[the voice of desparation]:
pull me right pull me right pull me right down
fuck me right, fuck me right, fuck me right down
your silence is defeaning
your silence is suffocating me
it's suffocating me
and i want you to squeeze
take this life away from me
take away my misery
take this life away from me
oh my dear, please kill me
oh dear, please kill me
oh dear, please kill me
oh dear, please kill me
take this life away from me, away from me, baby
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8. |
talk to me
03:42
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i'm not letting anyone else in tonight
i'm not letting anyone else into my
little lungs too small to breathe, we choke and gasp and then repeat
my ocean eyes don't see the sun, you cannot tell just what
has begun inside of me
and i miss when the only thing was to breathe
i miss when you used to want to talk to me
i miss when the only thing was to breathe
i miss when we used to talk instead of sleep
your hidden eyes are all i see, that sudden brown that runs so deep
please, just hold me till i sleep
please, just want to talk to me
honesty's an interruption, let me have this fantasy
at my center is your corruption, you don't know just what you do
to me
and i miss when the only thing was to breathe
i miss when we could hear our hearts slow and beat
i miss when you used to wanna be with me
i miss when we used to never fall asleep
every promise, every word is just misheard i guess
my duress is where you want me
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9. |
flowers
03:51
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in the dark we always cower
playing dead i'll count the hours, hours
all we are has been devoured, devoured
open my skin, hold me close to breathe me in
god is not here, all we are is all we fear
i don't want to live like this; i don't wanna just persist
playing dead, i'll count the hours, the hours
holding onto funeral flowers, flowers
open my skin, all we are is burning flowers
open my heart, who we were has been devoured
open my skin, hold you close to drink you in
i am not here; there is no god, just our fears
all we are has been devoured
holding onto funeral flowers
so just take a drink right here
and hold me close to hurt me, dear
you know all we are is all we fear
and i don't think our god is near, near
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10. |
intrusive thoughts
04:08
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i admit that i needed you this time
i admit that i need you this time
don't you know that my cancer grows inside?
i guess that i am not meant for your life
there is a tree where our hearts used to be but
now there is nothing inside of me
there is a place where our hearts used to beat but
now your absence is all i can see
I AM NOT WORTH LOVING
I AM NOT ENOUGH
THIS IS THE TRUTH THAT I HAVE ALWAYS RUN FROM
I WILL NOT GET MARRIED
NO, I WON'T BE YOUR WIFE
I AM TRAPPED IN THIS DYSPHORIC HELL FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i admit that i needed you this time
intrusive thoughts that coil in my mind
in my head is where i will always be
remembering when you were loving me
set fire to the beauty we have grown
here in the end is where i'll make my home, and i guess
i am not meant for your life and i guess
i will never be your wife, but
i admit that i needed you this time
i admit that i almost took my life
intrusive thoughts that coil through my mind
outside of there is nothing left to find
if this cold hell is where you want me, i guess i'll stay
in hospital beds i guess i'll stay
stay with me, stay with me, stay with me
next time
next time
i am not enough i am not enough i am not enough
this time
i am not enough
this time
i admit that i needed you this time
i admit that my cancer grows inside
set fire to the beauty we had grown
here in the end i'll always make my home
and i guess that i am not meant for your life
and i guess i'll never be your wife
no wedding dress on my breasts
nothing left on my breath
i miss you, i miss you, i miss you so much
why did you abandon me?
i needed you this time
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11. |
already all gone
04:34
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there's rain on the streets but it doesn't spatter
there's blood on my sheets but it doesn't matter
i think you like it, i think we love it this way
red rivulets drip down and they stain
i can't numb all the things we want to ignore
but we can run until we both collapse on the floor
we are the lost acts, artifacts of people haunted by imagined pasts
we are the last acts, side effects of people who
never wanted life to last
our lives are forfeit; we never wanted to stay
i think you like it this way, i think we love it this way
we're not eternal but we can both haunt this place
they'll put our dead names on display
'cause we're the last acts, artifacts of people haunted by imagined pasts
we are the last act side effects of people we were never meant to last
she's taking off her clothes in the bathroom door
she's not mine to have but i'm free to explore
exhausted, irrelevant waste
a bullet hole that leaves no trace of this face
the lights are going down and no one reacts
no one reacts no one reacts
we are the last acts side effects of people with no past
no past
i lay down and surrender to what we've done and for a second it's already all gone
i lay down and surrender to what we've done and for a second it's already all gone
already, all gone
already? all gone?
she looks at me and says, that if we both are dead
who will do all the crying?
she looks at me and says, that if we both are dead
who will do all the lying?
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12. |
penetrate and swoon
03:20
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if you knew it was my last night on earth
would you show me what your promises were worth?
if you knew it was my last night on earth
would you finally take away this hurt?
new scars on my sick skin
tattoos injected in
penetrate and swoon
and miss my love with you
if you knew this was my last night on earth
would you show me what your promises were worth?
if you knew it was my last night on earth
would you even say a single word?
the ice is melting down
that i had put my heart in
and i'm reminded how
i allowed it to harden
how could our toxicity blend so perfectly, so perfectly?
how could our toxicity blend so elegantly, elegantly?
if you knew it was my last night on earth
would you show me what your promises were worth?
if you knew it was my last night on earth
would you finally take away this hurt?
it's always the same, just different faces attached to the pain
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13. |
soft instead
04:02
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i started to spiral out
i wanted to scream so loud
we hold the railing as we wind on down
in you is where my heart was found
i want to be soft instead of this bitter thing that i have been
i want to give myself to you
but you have to want me, too
glitter on our wings, monitored in sleep
another falling leaf
another night repeats
with the forgotten things all i am wondering is if you will remember me
i want to be soft instead of this bitter thing that i'm becoming
i want to be soft instead of who i've been
for you to take me in
i want to be vulnerable with you, only with you
you have shown me my heart again
you have shown me this ache again
you have shown me my love again
you have made all of it end and
in the place of forgotten things
i am wondering if you'll remember
and in this constant lack of sleep, i hope that i will see you in my dreams
in the hospital room i dreamt of you
i've said all of this before
but there's only so much room in this heart to explore
i'm such a fuckin' bore
i want to be soft instead of this miserable thing that i'm becoming
i just want to be alone with you
alone with you
my heart's with you still
and all this ink i spill
can never get deep enough
can never get deep enough
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14. |
free completely
03:03
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i can wait, as long as i can hold you, hold you
i can wait, won't hesitate to show you all you do
to make me free
completely
when you're here with me, i am finally, free completely
free completely
when you're here with me, i am finally, free completely
breathing deeply
i'll let the ink stain through every sheet if you will stay with me
i'll let my heart bleed through every sheet as you will stay 'cause
when you're here with me, i am finally
free completely, free completely
when you're here with me, i am finally free completely, free completely
where did you go? why did you take your heart away?
where did you go? why did you take the love away?
where did you go? why did you take my heart away?
when you're here with me, i am finally free completely
free completely
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crimesididntcommit Florida
crimesididntcommit is the transgender electroheartache project of veronica emilyn, fusing darkwave, industrial and goth stylings into genre-defying explorations of mental illness, queer identity and the horrific beauty of being in a body that knows it is alive. crimesididntcommit is for the lost who don’t want to be found. songs ghosts can dance to. ... more
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